I eat a lot for someone who’s terrified of gaining weight.
what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?
one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard
WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK
when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟
every villain is lemons
And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.
And now: The Weather.
REBLOG 5,000,000 TIMES
WHERE ARE THERE SO LITTLE NOTES YOU GUYS
REBLOG THIS SAVE SOME LIVES.
I can’t not reblog.
I care too much.
reblogging this to remind myself to donate when I get my purse
reblogging this because I really want them to live like we do.
A MUST TO REBLOG
PLEASE REBLOG. I don’t care if it’s truth or not. But it may be, and you have to understand that this is REALLY important. When you get your hands dirty you just go to the bathroom and clean them. Well this people can’t, and they can’t shower either. And they need that water to drink it, and to stay alive. There’s people out there suffering, and just by reblogging you can help them. So please, I don’t care if this doesn’t fit your blog, this is actually worth it.
nobody in college gives a shit ive seen peope walking to class in heavy snow in sweats and a tshirt and flip flops ive seen people wear studio headphones in lecture ive heard so many professors curse its really some next level shit and high school did not prepare me for it
I was not prepared for university particularly this one lecturer that would slip in a photograph of fisting into presentations to check we were paying attention
in 4th grade we were making clay pots in art and our teacher kept saying “make them thinner! those are too thick they won’t work” so we made them thinner and when she put then in the kiln they all exploded and she told us it was our fault because we made them too thin and if that doesn’t describe the school system i don’t know what does